What Do You Have Left?

Dear Friend, Today in class I watched a video of Steve Jobs giving a speech at a Stanford graduation ceremony. The ironic thing is Steve Jobs, dropped out of college in his early twenties, yet years later found himself leading the technology world, and giving speeches to college grads. What I took most from his speech is his drive to follow his passion. No matter how rough it got, or how much he seemed like a failure for dropping out of school and living on his friends floors, he kept on pursuing what his heart's desires. In his speech to these Stanford graduates he stated, "you are already naked, there's no reason not to follow your heart". By this he means, we don't have anything to lose. Jobs described how as humans we live, and we all meet the inevitable...death. Thus why not live as if it's your last? That's a good question. Why do we settle for what we don't want, in a life that only lasts so long? Why don't we follow our heart, even when all the odds seem stacked against us? Technically, the odds will always be stacked against you. There are people who don't want you to succeed, then there's the personal fear you allow to rest in your heart.We fear this life coming to an end, yet we don't enjoy the journey while we are on it. My question for you my friend, is what do you have left? ~Lady

Vulnerable

It's so easy to get in a relationship now. Everyone is looking for that special someone. Honestly, I do believe that people should have someone very important in their lives, who genuinely loves them. Tell me this, what happens when that special someone whom you thought was your best friend, becomes your worst enemy? This month is October, the national awareness month for Domestic Violence. Sadly, this is the reality for a lot of women and even men around the world. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, over 1.3 million partners are involved in domestic assaults, while 85% percent of the victims are women. In the most shocking way they have awaken from a fairytale dream to a living nightmare. Understand that when a relationship becomes unbalanced and unhealthy, it is time to exit out of the door, before the situation escalates into a more dangerous situation. Truly all that glitters is not gold.

I was vulnerable to his touch.

Enticed through the eyes of lust.
Yet, the moment he transformed on me,
Was the moment I lost my vulnerability.

The ability to be sensitive to my own needs.
The hate takes away ones desire to feel.
If I didn’t feel anything, then I would be okay.

In him I thought I could find true love,
But there is nothing more real than the moment your body is thrown in the ring, with no protection, no gloves.

Who wants to leave themselves open,
To the possibility of another scar.
The scars damaged my body as well as my soul.

I learned to shut myself in,
Because I was coming out, but going too far.


I’d given up on myself,
By letting another take full control.

Yes, control equals power,
The sweet nectar that enemies crave.
Powerful enough to dig your grave.
From personal lover, to personal hater.
I left him because I could do better.

Now it’s just me.
And I struggle daily as I try to remember what it feels like to love me.

How can I possibly love anyone else, when I’ve lost the perception on how to love myself?
How can I become one with anyone else if I’m not one with myself?



I was vulnerable to his touch.
Enticed through the eyes of lust.
Yet, the moment he transformed on me,
Was the moment I lost my vulnerability.

My ability to be sensitive and truthful to my own needs.
There’s nothing wrong or selfish about the love of self.
I know thyself, that I might know thee.
Just a few words on Augustine.

Yet, I have transformed once more,
now morphing into the true character of my personality.
I have found strength to touch the wounds that still bleed.

The wisdom to know what balm to use, in order for the bruises to heal.
I have the discernment to realize what’s real.

I am sensual, and I am human.
That’s real.
I am spiritual, and intellectual.
That’s real.

A real man will find it in his heart to love, to heal, and not to harm.
Now that’s real.
Please don’t judge, because I have already done that enough.
There are people who feel what I feel,
And that goes beyond real.


I was vulnerable to his touch.
Enticed through the eyes of lust.
Yet, the moment he transformed on me,
Was the moment I lost my vulnerability.

Time has shown that I must be vulnerable.
Vulnerable enough to remain true to myself,
And never again lose me to someone else.

~With Love, Lady

Definition of Who

Why should I define myself for you?
That will never benefit me, but will make it easier for you.
Easier for you to place my life in a category.
Categorizing me with all of your other ladies.
But baby my personal style is weaved in my own originality.
So how can I ever find you worthy of my mind and body,
when you're so busy putting me on a shelf.
No honey, this is not barbie.
You refuse to learn or appreciate me for my inner qualities.
I find you blind to the meaning of true beauty.

You will only pay attention to the outside, saying that I'm sexy labeling my body a dime.
You can stimulate my body with your tongue all night , but are you willing to stimulate my intellect with words of knowledge that will have me yearning to learn more in this lifetime.

Why should I define myself for you?
That will never benefit me, but will make it easier for you.


You strive so hard to define me, categorize me, instead of taking the time to get to know me.
How will you ever obtain anything with me?
I find that to be mundane,
a waste of both of our time.
What I am saying is more than just another rhyme,
for I seek what's real and not a lie.

Go sit in the same box you tried to use to trap me.
Either I am too hood or too classy.
So I have a suggestion for you,
go about your business and find the woman that was tailor made just for you.
Because tailoring me to fit your description just will not do.


Why should I define me for you?
That will never benefit me, but just make it easier for you.

It's so easy to get caught up in other peoples' thoughts about you. Yet, since when does the opinion of others define your personality? That is absurd!!! I have been dumped with all kinds of reactions from people when they meet me or get to know me. Honestly, all of it means nothing. My goal in life right now is to define myself. To wake up each day and embrace every single part of me inside and out!!! No I am not perfect, nor do I want to be. Yes, I will fail but that's the best way to learn. No, I'm not always sociable, and can be very awkward in social situations, but I love it!!That's me!!! I like what I like, and I don't care what people think. Yes, at times you have to go get a personal opinion, but you are still the one making the decision. You have to live with you, so work on that,lol!!! Embrace what makes you different and as an old manager use to tell me....distinctive. Muah!!!

~LadyVaness